Growing Women’s Rugby – No Mean Girls

If you’re reading this and you follow me on Facebook, then you probably saw my post about Rugby Today’s response to a female rugby player who had contacted them about their coverage of women’s rugby. To explain briefly, their reply to her, which ended up plastered ALL over Facebook yesterday, was, “Rugby Today is committed to the women’s game, but it remains now, and always will be, of less interest to our readership than men’s activities.”

I had a few different feelings about this interaction. I honestly feel that from a business perspective, if you want to expand your readership, expand your coverage. The next thing I felt was that the women’s game DOES need to expand, to be covered more, to be funded more – to just BE more. Lastly, I feel that realistically, it is women’s responsibility to make all of these things happen. Rugby Today wants demand in order to supply so – we need to give them the demand.

So here’s the big question: How? I actually think it’s important for us to analyze this in a similar way to how we’d want Rugby Today to approach their readership. Let’s ask, first, what do we have now? How are we or how have we gotten to where we are? Where do we want to go? And, how do we think we could get there? We don’t think Rugby Today’s readership will first just “magically” expand to include women, and then they will oblige us by covering the women’s game. No. We expect them to cover the women’s game, and believe that will inherently expand their readership. So, how can we change our game (our coverage) to get more of it (readership)?

With all of these thoughts I had yesterday, I thought I’d try to feel out women’s rugby. I sent out a survey by email and Facebook, and asked any and all female rugby players (or former players) to respond. I asked a handful of questions and allowed for comment fields – responders simply wrote in their answers.  I was not sure what I would do with the results. I guess I was just curious. The questions were:

1. What were/are your top three reasons for playing rugby?;
2. If you are no longer playing rugby, why did you stop?;
3. What was/is your biggest strength as a rugby player? (Does not need to be physical);
4. What was/is the best part about the team you played on/play for?;
5. What do you wish had been/would be different about the team that you played on/play for?;
6. If you no longer play rugby, are you still involved in some way, and how? (coach, ref, etc.);
7. What do you feel is the most important trait a teammate should have?;
8. Do you think you were/are a good teammate? If yes, why? And
9. How would you like to see women’s rugby change, if at all?

So far, I’ve had 44 people respond to my survey. It’s not a big enough number to convey the general thoughts of the entire women’s rugby community.  Also, the responses are anonymous – so I have no way of knowing what team they play for, their background, etc. You can certainly argue that my survey is not large enough or built well enough to make a real point. But, I don’t really need more answers to see a theme happening, and that theme speaks to the “how” of growing our game. Additionally, from personal experience within rugby, and within life, I think this “how” rings true.

The suggestion I want to make on “how” is not about money, better coaches, better referees, or better fields. It’s not about winning. It’s basically just my opinion on where to start. I am very competitive and take rugby very (almost too) seriously. I tend to put my energy into physical performance and game results, and, maybe, by doing this survey I have learned something. I am a little shocked at myself for even writing this. I think that growing the game basically just starts with “US.” Who are we? Who are we as a team? Who are we as a community? That buzz phrase that seems to pop up here and there, especially about the All Blacks – “Team Culture” – it’s that.

I noticed that a lot of the responses that I got on question number 5 (“What do you wish had been different about the team you played for?) said something along the lines of, “more players.” I got responses like: “I wish the social atmosphere was a little different…”; “more funding”; “…it was hard to feel included…we had a retention problem”; “less cliquey”; “less cliques.” I was actually ASTONISHED at just how many times I saw the word “clique”.

Next, I noticed the theme of responses I got on question number 1 (This one is about our “readership” and how we got them) which asks “What were/are your top reasons for playing rugby?”  Overwhelmingly, the answers said things like: “community”, “comradery”, “friendships”, “family”, “acceptance”, “social network”, and, of course, “culture”.  So, maybe that’s not why all of these players continued on. Maybe that is not why they are still playing. But, BUT, this is why they started. THIS is the coverage that brought the readers in.

Lastly, I noticed the answers that I got on question 7. “What do you feel is the most important trait a teammate should have?” Not a single response on this question said ANYTHING about a physical ability. None of them related to winning. They ALL related more to an attitude. To a social aspect or approach within rugby. I got answers like: “commitment to the team over the individual”; “respect”; “positivity and commitment”; “encourage and motivate”; “knowing it’s a team sport”; “a teammate should never give up on you”; “dedication”; “positive vibes”; “support”; and “compassion”.

Again, I will reiterate that I do not know who answered this survey. Maybe these aspects are not important to EVERY women’s rugby player. BUT, I do not know a single player who would not want these things. Do you?

After I started seeing general themes, I started to realize how important social interaction is to women within this sport. Actually, the word “clique” brought one specific thing into my mind – the movie “Mean Girls”. (On Wednesdays, we wear pink – right?) So, I googled “Sociology of Mean Girls” and then fell into a chain of internet browsing on group sociology, group psychology, etc.

If you are a women’s rugby player or even simply female, I am positive you have seen the up side and the down side of these social interactions – of these cultures that exist in groups. I am sure you have experienced a mean girl, or, maybe at a certain time in your life, you even were one yourself.

These things (“social status”, “group norms”, “social facilitation”) are real. There is real correlation between how an individual performs within a group and how that group affects individual performance.  There is a real correlation between the social norms and expectations within a group, and how that group performs.  Cliques are a real thing – they happen all the time. Groups of people often end up as hierarchies. There are often “alphas” in each group. Individuals censor themselves or strive to perform if others are around. This is probably WHY rugby empires like the All Blacks emphasize team culture. Some of it is to make the rugby enjoyable. But, it also plays a big role in SUCCESS. This is also why even in business, employers have started to focus on how employees feel – what is the best environment to get them to create and produce the most work? More work equals more money. More money equals more everything.

I understand that not all of us play rugby for the social aspect. However, right now, the majority of women’s rugby here, and likely around the world, BEGINS, at a social level. So, right now, THIS is our readership. Let’s make it as good as we can, and, by doing that, we will get more. We will get more rookies who try a rugby team, and find that “community”, and get hooked, and tell a friend. Whether we play for “high level” teams, or “social teams” or something in between, we all want to grow. We all want more. I think we need more US.

Next, I am saying that we – the entirety of women’s rugby- need to recognize WHY most of our “readership” comes along in the first place. Part of it IS the team. The team culture, the support.

So, are we taking care of this? Are we EVEN acknowledging that things like team culture and social facilitation exist?? If we don’t want to do it for the sake of “being nice”, what about doing it for the sake of growing OUR teams or improving performance? It’s a lot like business, if you think about it. (Take note, executive board members. Take note recruiters and coaches. Take note, USA Rugby. Take note, Rugby Today.) Not only that, but how do we treat our opponents? At some point, we have to let go of the “you are not on my team” and prioritize the “we are all women’s rugby players”.

The quality of OUR culture – women’s rugby- that is basically our ‘coverage.’  I really suspect that focusing on these social aspects of our rugby and our cultures can, quite possibly, create a domino effect.  A better team culture, and kind teammates, and positivity will lead one rookie to bring on another. Maybe a really positive team culture will lead a women’s team to start winning – all the time, and those wins will start to get press. Maybe, by creating this culture within our game, WE will feel more motivated to make our own news sites and blogs about women’s rugby. Maybe it will bring us to really facilitate growth of the entire game because of the great experience we had. Not just grow our own team, right now, but new teams, future players and the future game. This “coverage” will get us more “readership.” More “readership” will lead to even better “coverage.”

By absolutely NO means am I saying women should “be” or “play’ any nicer or any differently than men. NO. WAY. There is nothing better than letting aggression out, and being physical, and dominating, and winning. Please do not mistake my message here – those are all BEAUTIFUL things about women’s rugby. But I think we have to recognize that we need both. I think we need to realize the importance of a little sensitivity within a totally aggressive and sometimes brutal sport. I think the same lesson and expectations we found ourselves with yesterday about Rugby Today are ones we can really actually apply to ourselves, as people, as teammates and as teams. If we want more readership let’s expand our coverage first. To start, let’s improve our culture, and grow our game – with no mean girls allowed.