Austin Valkyries Mad Lib

Of Great and Glorious Rugby Triumph

A rugby mad lib by the Austin Valkyries, put together by Meredith B.
*words in red were supplied by a Valkyrie team member

One windy and plucky afternoon, the Austin Valkyries rugby team took the field against a womanly side from Texas State University. The sky was fuzzy, the grass pretty, and all of the Valks were feeling quite ridiculous after long weeks of training and preparation.

On the opening kickoff, the Valks defense played sweetly, united like a shoelace against the TX State attack. As their opponents, clad in puce, attempted to pierce the big defense of the Valks, a cry of “Ooh La La!” could be heard rising from the ranks as the black & red jerseys repulsed each foray.

After a turnover caused by a switch, the Valkyries attack commenced. Passing over, under and around the Bobcats, the Valkyries quickly scored 49 points. Leigh kicked every conversion from near and far to increase the lead.

As halftime neared, a heifer moved across the afternoon sky, obscuring the light and giving a peaceful tenor to the contest. In the ghostly shadows, Jake howled, your mom chugged a beer, and the ref, who strongly resembled Billy Bob Thornton, seemed to lose her nerve. The whistle blew like an orifice in the gloaming.

The eerie scene seems to energize TX State, who emerged from halftime like their livers were on fire. Running, slashing and pounding ahead, it took a prop-ish effort from the Valks to keep their try zone untouched. But thanks to the strange training of their head coach “Monotonous Meg” Pace, the Valks defense withstood the challenge and the shutout was preserved.

Momentum thus gained, the Valks attack grew strong once again, surge-y like Hurricane Ike toward the Bobcat goal line. Selfless team effort resulted in play most super-cala-fragilistic-expe-ala-docious, earning cries of “Shzam!” from the sideline and “Feck!” from TX State opponents. In and out poked the passes, and the score soon rose to 69 to zero.

As the final butt blew, Coach Meg sighed a deep twaddle of joy and satisfaction, and the Valkyries rushed together like a Wendy of pride and teamlove. The enemy had been squat, the squat weather survived, and quick beer was soon to be had.

Three cheers for quick beer!
Three cheers for mad lib!
THREE CHEERS FOR THE VALKYRIES!!!!!

*words in red were supplied by a Valkyrie team member

This was from a few weeks ago, but I had to post it. Made our team dinner even more fun as we thought up the best nouns, verbs and adjectives we could! Enjoy!


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